i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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