just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I think I sprained my soul last night
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I need a beard to bite.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
