How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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