So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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