Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
