coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
