mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
