Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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