my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize