woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
wow bdsm is so cute
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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