Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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