yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
