Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
