I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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