I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
