I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Send help, water and tortillas.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
