DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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