the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
