ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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