Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
