We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
we're so committed to being not committed
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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