The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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