White coat. Heels.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Randomize
