But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
