is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
