thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize