Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
