I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
if only i could text you this smell
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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