I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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