I bet he comes in French.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
