so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
