So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
