Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
