So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
