why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
