The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize