He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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