I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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