is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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