Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
