Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
