Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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