oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
