dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
