U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
