theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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