what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Sex in the backyard? Check.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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