Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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