That's intense
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just had sex on a roof
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
