if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
