trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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