I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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