Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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