people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
