dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
