Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
