i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
