I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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