you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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