So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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