Kiss
Puke
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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