So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
