In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
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He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
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You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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